A. Zhdanov comments:

Citizen--
We have also noted some unsatisfactory pieces attributed to Kanningam. Some of them may be forgeries and provocations. In any case, due to unconscionable budget cuts by the treasonable Yeltsin-Putin regime, we have been forced into a "popular front" arrangement with some non-Party elements who at least support the vital struggle against Trotskyism.

To adapt a wonderfully apt line from E. Evtushenko (a good Party man we don't believe would mind, despite his rootless-cosmopolitan connections):
««Internacional'» pust' progremit, kogda naveki poxoronen budet poslednij na zemle Trockist!»
"Let the 'Internationale' sound forth, when the last Trotskyite on Earth is buried forever!"

Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2001 03:00:00 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Denunciation of enemy of the people
informer-name = ivan ivanisovich
informer-email =
informer-class = worker
enemy-name = Grant Jones
enemy-email = grant.jones@bdw.com.au
enemy-class = capitalist exploiter
Article = Article 17
comments = A lickspittle of the capitalist running dogs of Corporate Insurance.

A Vigilant Chekist comments:

You use a puzzling name, Citizen. Was it "Ivan Denisovich," a reference to scribblings of Solzhenitsyn, a hack justly expelled from the Writers' Union many decades ago? Or was it "Ivan Ivanovich," the "everyman" of the Socialist Motherland? In either case, it sounds like you could do with less vodka.

A Vigilant Chekist writes:
Could you provide us with a URL, Comrade? Certainly it sounds like cause for the supreme measure.

By the way, is this the same Stuart Ouseley listed at a "Fabian Society" website? Although they were not involved in the later terrorist activities of the unspeakable L.D. Trotsky, Fabians are, like the early Trotskyites, "liquidators," attempting to substitute Menshevik mush for proletarian revolution.

(Comrades? Citizens?) Mac Cuarta, R. vs. Ouseley, S.
[latest update added 000909]

We are disgusted, but not entirely surprised, to find the following:

"June 6, 2001, Wednesday
World Briefing, Europe: France: Red-Faced Premier
Source: The New York Times
Section: Foreign Desk
145 words
Lead Paragraph:
"Prime Minister Lionel Jospin acknowledged for the first time yesterday that he started his political career as a Trotskyite. His statement, before the National Assembly, followed publication of reports and interviews disclosing his membership in the ..."

[end of NYT excerpt]

From the French newspaper "Le Monde":
http://www.lemonde.fr/article/0,5987,3224--191133-,00.html

Révélations sur le passé trotskiste de Lionel Jospin
LE MONDE | 05.06.01 | 11h21
MIS A JOUR LE 05.06.01 | 17h20
Notre enquête sur les engagements politiques de jeunesse du premier ministre conclut qu'il s'est engagé, du début des années 1960 jusqu'au début des années 1970 au moins, au sein de l'OCI. Entré au PS après 1971, il a gardé des contacts auxquels il a progressivement mis fin, en 1987. Pour la première fois, M. Jospin a reconnu, mardi 5 juin, son engagement trotskiste passé.
[end excerpt from "Le Monde"]

Date: Mon, 18 Jun 2001 21:00:48 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Denunciation of enemy of the people
informer-name = Josef Klein
informer-email =
informer-class = Soldat
enemy-name = R.S.
enemy-email = keepnhoakalive@yahoo.com
enemy-class = SS-Rttf.
Article = 154-a. Sexual relations of a man with a man (pederasty)
comments = Bedding down with the RAT SANI in barracks!!!!!!!!! TO SIBERIA WITH THEM BOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Date: Mon, 18 Jun 2001 20:57:00 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Denunciation of enemy of the people
informer-name = Josef Klein
informer-email =
informer-class = Soldat
enemy-name = C.N.S.
enemy-email = artfagdirtbug@rocketmail.com
enemy-class = SS-Sanitäter
Article = 154-a. Sexual relations of a man with a man (pederasty)
comments = The Sani is a RAT!!!

A. Ya. Vyshinsky comments on the two denunciations above:
If R.S. and C.N.S. are, as identified above, fascist soldiers, we are not particularly concerned with their sexual proclivities. Indeed, the fewer fascists they breed, the better! But we will, for the same reason, keep them strictly away from pigsties.

A Vigilant Chekist comments:
How are we supposed to figure out who "Mr. K.F." is?
A. Ya. Vyshinsky comments:
Give us specific information, citizen, and we can decide for ourselves which charges are appropriate.

A Vigilant Chekist writes:
Citizen, you should sleep it off and try again:
(1) Your note is not read by the accused Kane210, but rather by the Competent Organs.
(2) If Kane210 really is Adolf Hitler under an alias, be aware that Hitler had no agricultural background, kulak or otherwise. His father was a minor bureaucrat, and he himself was a lumpen-proletarian.

Date: Tue, 15 May 2001 14:05:35 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Denunciation of enemy of the people
informer-name = Fritz
informer-email =
informer-class = Soldier
enemy-name = Klaus
enemy-email = NY1203@aol.com
enemy-class = capitalist exploiter
Article = 58-6
comments = For the crime of espionage against the Soviets, you are hereby to be sent to Siberia for no less than 5 years of re-education.

A. Ya. Vyshinsky comments:
It is not your job, citizen, to determine the guilt or innocence of the accused Klaus. That will be decided by a socialist court in accordance with instructions from the Party.

V.M. Molotov comments:
Vysshaya mera nakazaniya.
PS: You should not waste the honorific "comrade" on such scum.

A.A. Zhdanov comments:
At first we thought your denunciation lacked usable specifics, but the charge "rootless cosmopolitan" suffices in itself.

Date: Mon, 14 May 2001 16:52:57 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Denunciation of enemy of the people
informer-name = chris
informer-email = chris.archibald@chase.com
informer-class = peasant soldier
enemy-name = Marsh Wise
enemy-email = mwise@reenactor.net
enemy-class = lumpen-cosmopolitan
Article = Wasting bandwidth is covered by Article 58-9
comments = I Denounce Marsh Wise as a waster of common bandwidth and a collaborator of Counterrevolutionary Trotskyite Hyena ideology and promoter of foreign reenacting methods! Honored comrades, Marsh's crimes against the Socialist motherland include Articles 58-6, 58-11, 58-10 and article 58-13 of the Criminal Code. This bourgeois careerist cosmopolitan exploiter is a dangerous criminal!
He should be immediately brought forth to the public square and taunted, poked with sharp sticks, and made to carry heavy things for a long time, then sent back east to count trees.

Date: Mon, 23 Apr 2001 08:12:18 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Denunciation of enemy of the people
informer-name = Josef Stalin
informer-email = JStalin@thekremlin.cccp
informer-class = Supreme Soviet
enemy-name = V l Lenin
enemy-email = Vllenin@ussr.cccp
enemy-class = capitalist exploiter
Article =
comments = he died

M. Frinovsky comments:
Drunken hooligan. Not even worth the price of nine grams.

(Comrades? Citizens?) Mac Cuarta, R. vs. Ouseley, S.
[latest update added 000909]

Date: Wed, 4 Apr 2001 14:26:48 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Denunciation of enemy of the people
informer-name = Hunter Darby
informer-email = LOWEDARB@aol.com
informer-class = worker
enemy-name = Sweet Jimmy Grumbles
enemy-email = SweetJimmylies@hotmail.com
enemy-class = lumpen-proletarian
Article =
comments = This slovenly revisionist liar shirks his duties in the workplace collective and constantly insists that he has a position on the Central Committee in order to dupe young female Party members to engage in carnal-revolutionary acts. He also takes liberties with his comrades' libations and fabricates deceptions in the face of overwhelming evidence. He is an enemy of the people and Mother Russia!

Date: Tue, 3 Apr 2001 19:51:54 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Denunciation of enemy of the people
informer-name = Petr Genrikovich Uldanov
informer-email = pguldanov@juno.com
informer-class = Peasant
enemy-name = Carol Avedikian
enemy-email = avedon@cix.co.uk
enemy-class = Petty-bourgeois
Article = 58-2, 58-4, 58-10, 58-11, 58-12
comments = Long Live Comrade Stalin!
Honored Chekist Comrades:
I find it necessary to denounce the petty-bourgeois, bourgeois-nationalist, counterrevolutionary, revisionist Carol Avedikian.
Her crimes against the Socialist Motherland include violations of Articles 58-2, 58-4, 58-10, 58-11, and 58-12 of the Criminal Code of the RSFSR. As to the first item: Her continued agitation for Armenian Nationalism is a clear violation of Article 58-2 related to bourgeois nationalism. The Armenian people welcome with joy the Socialist brotherhood of the Great Soviet Nation, led by the Great Stalin. Citizen Avedikian's agitation for Armenian separatism is aimed at undermining the foundations of the Soviet state.
As to the second item: Her counterrevolutionary agitation is conducted from the counterrevolutionary states of Britain and the USA. From the rotten heart of the decadent capitalist privy she conducts her obscene treason.
As to the third item: Her agitation and propaganda include appeals to bourgeois concepts of freedom of speech and the press. Since these call for allowing the viewpoints of the most counterrevolutionary and depraved individuals to be expressed, with the clear intent of weakening the authority of the Soviets, it is clear that this voluntarist diversionist is aiming at establishing the conditions for reimposing the yoke of capitalist exploitation.
As to the fourth item: Her membership in organizations aimed at establishing bourgeois so-called "civil liberties" (unlike the real Soviet civil freedoms established under the beneficient oversight of the Great Stalin) is patent proof of the intent to violate this clause.
As to the fifth item: Far from having denounced similar actions concocted by her partners in counterrevolutionary agitation and terrorism, she has aided and abetted them.
In the name of the Soviet People! Glory, Glory, Glory to the Great Stalin, the Great Leader and Teacher, the Great Friend of the Working Class!

Date: Thu, 29 Mar 2001 15:56:24 -0500 (EST)
Subject: Denunciation of enemy of the people
informer-name =
informer-email =
informer-class =
enemy-name = Richard Waibel
enemy-email = Richardwaibel@hotmail.com
enemy-class = kulak
Article =
comments = Comrade Waibel is a traitor in Soviet life as he collaborates with Trotskyite hyenas

Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 19:54:50 -0500 (EST)
Subject: Denunciation of enemy of the people
informer-name =
informer-email =
informer-class = Proletariat
enemy-name = GEORGE WALKER BUSH
enemy-email =
enemy-class = CAPITALIS WORMONGER
Article = COUNTER REVOLUTIONARY AND TRAITOROUS ACTIVIES
comments =

A.Ya. Vyshinsky comments:
You have been imbibing too much, Comrade. While we agree that said Bush is a capitalist warmonger and counterrevolutionary, such activities do not constitute treason for a politician in a capitalist warmongering country. Sleep it off and try again.

From: hcunn@removethis.tiac.net (N.I. Yezhov)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.russian, soc.culture.polish
Subject: Is obscene parody of "Gimn Sovetskogo Soyuza" posted anywhere?
Date: Thu, 14 Dec 2000 01:37:39 GMT
Message-ID: 918reh$d17@news-central.tiac.net
From Slate.com:

"Putin's Old Song
"By Anne Applebaum
"About 10 years ago, a friend taught me a parody of the Soviet national anthem. The parody was in Polish, but that hardly mattered: There is a certain category of extremely obscene swear words -- I'm afraid they don't bear repeating in a family Internet magazine -- which appears to be common to most of the Slavic languages, and this parody was full of them."
[...]
[end of cite]

This inquiry brought a helpful response from at least one web comrade:

From: staryw@my-deja.com (staryw@my-deja.com)
Subject: Is obscene parody of "Gimn Sovetskogo Soyuza" posted anywhere?
Newsgroups: soc.culture.polish
Date: 2000-12-13 15:00:12 PST
I eagerly confirm that such a version of the CCCP national anthem was indeed widely circulated and eagerly performed in Poland in the 1970's. It was sung in this peculiar half-Polish, half Russian language of drunken Slavs. The first verse was:

"Na chuj nam svoboda respublik naroda".

Unfortunately, I do not remember the rest. This is quite understandable, considering the heroic intake of alcohol invariably consumed before and after performing this song by all those present. At one stage in the mid-1970s, this was one of the favourite drinking songs at the University of Warsaw, closely followed by:

"mat' twoju job,
my kulturnyj narod,
my Germanca nie boimsia
i wsiegda idiom wpieriod";

(f... your mother,
we are a nation of culture,
unfazed by the Germans
and always advancing
- naturally, always sung in Russian)

"ja myslalem ze to smieci,
ze to gowno droga leci,
a to Sowieci, Sowieci"

("it looked like a heap of shit moving along,
but it was just the Soviets"
- unfortunately, it only rhymes in Polish)

and

"i szkoda tylko, ze w noc kwietniowa,
ciagnac za soba smrod spalin,
nie caly Zwiazek w kosmos wylecial,
lecz tylko Jurij Gagarin"

("what a pity that in that April night
they did not launch the entire CCCP into space,
but only one Yuri Gagarin" -
unfortunately, it only rhymes in Polish)

There are any number of such examples of fraternal love of the Poles for the Soviet comrades.
--staryw@hotmail.com

N.I. Yezhov comments:
Comrade Stary--
We thank you for bringing this vile anti-Sovietism to our notice. One or two old comrades have expressed misgivings that the tone of your post suggests a certain degree of amusement at such garbage, but surely they must be mistaken. Could you put their minds at ease by providing specific names of some counterrevolutionary hooligans, so that we could take appropriate measures?

A Vigilant Chekist comments:
While, as a general rule, we strongly favor denunciations, this one looks like a provocation. In particular, only the most disgraceful degenerates would misuse the name of the great Lenin in their private intrigues.

The Carefully Orchestrated Glamour of the KGB
By Anne Applebaum
Tuesday, March 6, 2001, at 4:00 p.m. PT
[...]
I was in Moscow last week at the old KGB (now FSB) headquarters in Lubyanka Square and caught a glimpse of just how carefully that organization continues to craft its glorious image.
Or rather, I wasn't exactly at headquarters; I was around the corner from headquarters, visiting one of those anonymous Moscow office buildings to which only expected visitors are admitted. Inside, there is a gloomy columned hall, a bust of Feliks Dzherzhinsky, a plaque: "To the Chekists, Soldiers of the Revolution." The Chekists were the secret police of Lenin's era, but the term, for those fond of the organization still best known as the KGB, has become generic. Beneath the plaque, someone had laid flowers. On closer examination, they turned out to be plastic.
[...]
[Rest of article deleted, to avoid extortion and robbery by capitalist parasites under pretext of "copyright"]

A A. Zhdanov comments:
The article is sarcastic and obnoxious, though liquidation might be more trouble than it is worth. Perhaps the author was in a bad mood because the competent organs recognized her intention to spy, and shunted her off to an innocuous branch office where her spying wouldn't do any harm.

Date: Mon, 5 Mar 2001 04:42:39 -0500 (EST)
Subject: Denunciation of enemy of the people
informer-name = Sebastian Utbult
informer-email = tz@plastique.net
informer-class = Party Official
enemy-name = Mjukis Lundin
enemy-email = mjukis@mjuk.net
enemy-class = Kulak
Article = 58-10
comments = A bearded, counterrevolutionary kulak who has to be sent away.